No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
