come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
