yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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