It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Your cock deserves a montage
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
