try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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