you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
