Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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