I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
