she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
