Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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