Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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