I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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