Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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