what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
