dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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