Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
