we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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