Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I need moral support for this bender
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
