We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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