All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
