Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
