She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
