With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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