Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
