Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
