it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
