Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
