also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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