you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
