I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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