If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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