I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
