i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
