i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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