Don't you send me to vm
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
