people are starting to question the shark bite story
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
