She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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