she was so not down for the gang bang
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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