On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
