Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm passing your future prison.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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