David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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