I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
