Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
