That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
