i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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