The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
