he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
