My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
