Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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