he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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