Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
