Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
